


let’s sort the whole thing out

by ohallows



Series: tumblr prompts collection [19]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bodyswap, Crack, Fluff, Gen, canon typical weird science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:35:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24692377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohallows/pseuds/ohallows
Summary: prompt: body swap with height difference, and clumsiness Sasha and Azu.... that would be.... so good. they would be so cute in it.ty for the prompt !!
Series: tumblr prompts collection [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584370
Comments: 12
Kudos: 38





	let’s sort the whole thing out

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: body swap with height difference, and clumsiness Sasha and Azu.... that would be.... so good. they would be so cute in it.
> 
> ty for the prompt !!

Cel stares at the two vials in their hands, and their face blanches as they look back and forth between them and the vials on the counter. 

“Okay -“ they say, laughing a bit. “You are _definitely_ going to find this funny, because it really _is_ funny, when you look at it from a very non-subjective angle of humor and circumstance, and -“

“ _Cel_ ,” Sasha (Azu? It’s Sasha’s _voice_ after all, but it’s coming out of Azu’s _mouth)_ says, as firm as she is with anyone, and she’s really still the only person who can get them to grind to an immediate halt when they’re starting to babble a bit. “What happened?”

Azu would be quite interested to know that as well, because somehow she’s _staring up at her own body_ but Sasha’s the one speaking. 

“You have to promise not to yell,” Cel says, twiddling their thumbs and looking more than a little sheepish. “Did you know, actually, yelling is _proven_ to just have a negative affect on -“

Sasha rubs her - Azu’s? - temples, and sighs, and Cel sets the two vials down, not making eye contact with either of them. 

“Okay. The, uh - well, the long and short of it, I suppose, is that you two have… switched… bodies? Somehow. Uh. Yeah! Transplanted souls, or essences, what have you. Did the old, uh, switcheroo? Which, by the way, and I’m being completely honest here, the alchemical community at large didn’t really know that this was even achievable, much less by a mundane method such as this, so if you look on the bright side, you’re, like… magical colonials! No, wait, uh, English - magical _pioneers!_ Paving the way for all sorts of alchemical advancements. It’s a - a miracle, really.”

Azu and Sasha exchange a glance; it doesn’t really _feel_ like a miracle, not when Azu feels like she’s being slowly compressed. Sasha and her don’t have a huge height difference, not compared to her and Hamid, but it’s still enough that Azu feels... small. But also, weirdly, _light._ As though she could leap and climb to the top of the building in one go. Sasha looks just about uncomfortable as Azu feels, and - well, it is quite weird to be looking at your own face when it’s not in a mirror or a painting. 

“Sorry, _what?”_ Azu asks, unsure if Cel is joking or not, but, well, she’s _looking_ at herself right now, and she’s _clearly_ in Sasha’s body if her instincts are correct, and Cel seems _pretty_ confident in what’s happened, even if they don’t seem to really understand the how or the why. 

“You’ve swapped bodies. Or, brains, maybe? I would love to switch my brain out of my body, sometimes, it would be incredibly useful to have in case -“

“What d’you _mean_ we’ve swapped bodies?” Sasha asks, and her voice is higher than it usually is, which Azu realises means she's well on her way to freaking out. 

Cel looks between her and Azu. “I don’t know how much more, uh, clearly to put it? You. Well, I’m not completely sure how, but something in these two compounds must have mixed together in a way I wasn’t anticipating, and, well. This. I think. I mean, there’s always the _possibility_ that magic was involved in ways we know little about, but that seems like something just - just _so_ out there that it’s probably the former. And now. You switched bodies. Brains. Essences? Definitely not just personalities, the _voices_ indicate it’s something more crucial, but I’m just not completely sure _how.”_

“Can you _fix_ it?” Azu asks, and glances down at her - Sasha’s - remarkably pale arms. Honestly. How she hadn’t gotten burned in Cairo and Damascus is a miracle - although, Azu supposes, she covers up nearly to the teeth. Maybe she’s _allergic_ to the sun or something. Azu’s never asked, and now she’s a bit nervous to step outside in case it’s true. 

“Yes,” Cel says, and Azu raises an eyebrow. They bite their lip, and squint, stroking at their chin as they start to pace around the room. “Maybe. Probably? I mean, I _do_ know what the two compounds were, I just didn’t think _this_ would be the outcome, but maybe there’s a way to. Reverse it. I mean! There’s definitely a way to reverse it, neither of you need to worry about that, just… let me worry about it, okay? Okay! One, er - one un-body switch potion, coming right up!”

Azu is less than convinced, and Sasha looks like she’s actively sucking a lemon as she stares daggers at Cel. Her hands twitch, and Azu realises that she probably wishes she _did_ have daggers, actually. 

“It’ll take me a few hours to mix up a remedy for it,” Cel says, staring determinedly at their alchemical textbooks sitting in the corner. “I’ve whipped up loads of antidotes before, this should be a complete breeze, even if it. Is a bit different than what I’m expecting. But a remedy _will_ come, even if it’s less, uh - less standard that we all are thinking.”

“And it will be… safe?” Azu asks, not sure she’s going to believe the answer. 

There’s a moment of silence where Cel stares… Azu doesn’t know, somewhere off in the middle distance, and then they clap their hands together. “You’ll be fine! Probably. Uh. Definitely! Definitely, that sounds better, yeah? Now! I have to focus, and you two should… learn something about each other! Give it a chance, who knows, maybe you’ll like being stuck in the other’s body? Maybe after an hour or two it’ll feel like. A free vacation! Okay. Bye now!” They (politely, of course) shove Azu and Sasha out of their lab, and then shut the doors behind them, leaving the two of them standing there, dumbfounded. 

“What do -“ 

“How on -“

They both speak at the same time, and Azu laughs, gesturing for Sasha to go first.

“Do you actually think Cel can fix this?” Sasha asks, looking a bit uncomfortable, and Azu shrugs.

“I have faith in their abilities,” she says simply. Sasha doesn’t look convinced, but she does concede Azu’s point a little bit as she nods.

“Suppose we have to. No one else would have any clue what to do about all this.”

They both stand there in a bit of an awkward silence; after all, what _are_ you supposed to say when both of you are inhabiting the other person’s body for the time being? 

“Fancy a bet?” Sasha asks. And, well, apparently _that’s_ what you say. Azu looks over at her and can see the gears turning and whistling away in her head. 

“I do like bets,” Azu muses, and leans against the wall. “What were you thinking?”

Sasha’s lip quirks upward - Azu doesn’t think she’s ever _smirked_ before, and she’s not sure about how she feels about seeing that particular expression on her face. “I try to convince Hamid I’m you. You try to convince Zolf you’re me. Whoever gets caught first owes the other five silver pieces.”

Azu thinks for a moment. “I don’t actually think I have five silver pieces,” she says, trying to remember the contents of her rucksack. Sasha looks a little disappointed, and then brightens, as much as Sasha can.

“Loser takes the last bath for the next week,” she says, triumphant, and sticks her hand out. “Deal?”

Azu nods; she thinks she can win this, she just has to be quiet and kind of grumpy. “Deal,” she says, and shakes. 

“Alright. Meet back here in two hours, unless one of us gets caught. Hamid’s in his room, Zolf’s in the kitchen.”

“How do you _know_ that?” Azu asks, and Sasha shrugs.

“I pay attention,” she explains, although it really isn’t much of one. She goes to sneak away, and almost immediately trips, stumbling a bit. She straightens up, and Azu can’t help but laugh at the look on, well, her own face, she guesses, when Sasha seems to cycle rapidly through confusion, irritation, frustration, and then finally settle on understanding when she remembers she’s in Azu’s body, not her own. “Right, er - see you soon.”

“Good luck,” Azu calls after her, and Sasha pauses for a moment before looking up, blinking. 

“You don’t... normally, you don’t encourage the other team?” Sasha says, and Azu shrugs.

“I do,” she says, simply, and Sasha looks a little off-kilter for a moment before taking a step back.

“...Right,” she says, and turns around. “Good luck to you… too?”

Azu beams. “Thank you,” she says, and Sasha shakes her head before disappearing down the corridor, making as much noise as Azu thinks Sasha has ever made. She, on the other hand, walks away about as quietly as she ever has, which makes her smile a bit. If only Emeka were here, she could… her smile fades a bit, then, but she reminds herself that he’s safe with Vesseek and Bi Ming, that they’re far enough away from the infection that it won’t be getting him, too.

It will be fine. He’ll be fine - he always is, even if Azu sometimes feels that she worries more than enough for the both of them. She squares her shoulders and heads down the hallway, looking for Zolf.

Sasha’s right, as well; he’s in the kitchen, just getting ready to cook. There’s an apron tied around his waist, and he’s staring intensely at a pile of ingredients, rubbing a hand absently along his beard. He’s muttering something to himself, something Azu can’t make out; she starts to speak but then remembers that her voice is hers, not Sasha’s, and tries to imitate her way of speaking. She sneaks behind Zolf - she thinks she understands why Sasha likes doing this so much, actually, and sits up on the counter, grabbing one of the vegetable pieces that’s already been cut up. 

“Alright, Zolf?” she says; it’s a bit too loud, judging by the way Zolf jumps, and he turns around to give her a dirty look. There’s nothing behind it, though, no malice or irritation, just a long-suffering fondness. 

“ _Gods._ Hey, Sasha,” Zolf greets, flicking some water at her. Azu covers her face as much as she can, but barely any of it reaches her anyway. 

“What are you - making? For dinner, I mean.”

“Some sort of stew, I think,” Zolf says. “I’m just looking for a few final - there.”

He grabs another green leafy plant, looking pleased with himself, and starts cutting the rest of the vegetables.

“Hamid driving you up a wall?” Zolf says, laughter just at the edge of his tone, and Azu can feel herself tense. Zolf and Hamid haven’t been butting heads nearly as much lately, and have seemed to reach at least some sort of truce. They’ve been snippy much less lately, and have resorted more to good-natured ribbing, which Azu will take as a win when it comes to their friendship. Still, she… is maybe a bit more defensive of Hamid than she should be - or at least, more defensive than _Sasha_ would be. 

“Be nice to him,” Azu admonishes, nearly forgetting to pitch her voice a little bit higher. “He’s - he’s doing his best.”

“Yeah, I know that,” Zolf says, giving Azu a weird look. “We talked about this yesterday, didn’t you -“

Azu does laugh then, mostly out of discomfort, and quickly covers it up with a cough. “Yeah, yeah, sorry, er - forgot?”

Zolf doesn’t completely look like he’s buying it, though what with the way his eyes keep seeming to get more and more narrow. 

“Your voice sounds a bit… rough. Do you need some tea or something? I could go make you some,” he offers, and Azu for the life of her can’t remember how Sasha takes her tea, so she plays it safe. 

Azu shakes her head. “No, er - cheers... mate. I do n - I don’t need anything. Just came to… get away from… Wilde?” She winces internally when the last part comes out as more of a question than it should. Zolf doesn’t completely seem to notice, starting to grab the vegetables and chop them up while water magically boils behind him. 

“If you just wanted to spend time in here, you could just say so,” Zolf teases, and Azu laughs, remembering too late that Sasha, well, probably _wouldn’t._ Zolf gives her a weird look at that, and Azu tries to defuse the situation by leaning back against the wall. 

It doesn’t work as well as she means to; in Sasha’s body, she misjudges the distance, unused to the height. She slips, crashing to the ground, and Zolf rushes over, leaving the cooking boiling away. 

“Gods, you okay?” he asks, helping her to her feet, and Azu nods. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen you fall like that. Had something to drink?”

“No, er - mate. Just. Slipped.”

Zolf gives her another Look, capital-L, and then sets her carefully against the wall. He heads back over to his cooking, but keeps sneaking looks at Azu, clearly suspicious of _something_ even if Azu doesn’t think he’s puzzled out _what._

“You’re acting. Strange. Well, stranger than usual, I guess? Normally you take that as a compliment, so…” he trails off, and Azu goes to give him a smile before remembering right, yes, it’s Sasha, and just gives him a short nod instead. It’s the right move, clearly, but Zolf still doesn’t look away, squinting.

The door on the opposite end of the hallway bursts open, just as Zolf opens his mouth, and both of them jump, Azu trying to grab one of Sasha’s daggers and nicking her finger while Zolf grabs a butcher’s knife and holds it aloft.

“We got made, Azu,” Sasha announces, looking surly and grumpy and all kinds of emotions Azu works not to let show on her face. Hamid trails in behind her, looking pleased as anything. “Barely even lasted. _Dammit.”_

“Oh my goodness, really?” Azu says, jumping to her feet. She doesn’t even fall, this time, as Sasha folds her arms and starts grumbling, refusing to make eye contact.

“Hi, Azu!” Hamid greets, bounding over to her and pulling her into a hug. “Sasha told me you two made a bet?”

“I’m sorry, _what_?” Zolf says, looking between Sasha and Azu as though he’s trying to work out some complicated math problem in his head. “What the hell is going on here?”

“Cel,” Sasha and Azu say in tandem, and that’s enough of an explanation for the other two.

“Wow. This certainly is… an effect,” Hamid says, looking between Sasha and Azu.

“How’d you figure out that it wasn’t me, Hamid?” Azu asks, and Hamid shrugs. 

“She didn’t give me a hug,” he explains, and Sasha smacks herself in the face, grumbling something else under her breath that Azu can’t make out. Zolf leans over and rubs her shoulder comfortingly. Azu can’t help the smile, and the curl of amusement in her chest as she realises just _how_ funny her own face looks with Sasha’s usual expressions on it. Zolf seems to be having a similar reaction, honestly, grinning in amusement.

“Weird to see you smiling that widely,” Zolf says to Sasha, and she peers through her fingers at where Azu is, almost immediately hiding her face again. Azu swears she hears something about _‘my reputation_ ’, but she can’t be sure. 

Cel chooses that moment to burst through the doors, two vials held in their hands as they nearly vibrate with excitement. “I figured it out!” they announce, waving the vials around wildly. Azu feels her shoulders tense up as the liquid sloshes around, and stands, going over to Cel and taking them both. “It didn’t take as long as I thought, honestly, I just had to go back through my notes and - well, the answer had really been there all _along,_ I can’t believe I didn’t just see it _immediately_ -“

“Okay,” Sasha says, cutting across them and getting a hurt look from Cel in the process. She looks a bit contrite, but still takes one of the vials from Azu, looking suspiciously at the vial inside. “This will change us back?” 

“Let’s go with… yes? I mean, I didn’t really have a _chance_ to test it, Jasper just outright refused, and I can’t really blame the little guy for that reaction but I’m still a bit uncertain about the final effects? It _should_ work, based on the third law of -“

“Alright,” Zolf says, giving them a fond look but still cutting them off. Cel pouts, crossing their arms. “Sasha? Azu?”

Sasha still doesn’t look completely convinced; Azu isn't sure that she is, either, but as much fun as it’s been to fool Zolf, she wants her own body back, already. 

“Cheers,” Sasha says, clinking her vial against Azu’s, and together, they drink. Azu squeezes her eyes shut, waiting to feel… something.

Nothing happens, for a moment. And then a feeling begins to crawl up her arm, a strange feeling that curves around her neck, and her vision whites out. 

She opens her eyes and realises that she’s on the floor, next to Sasha - next to _actual_ Sasha, in-her-own-body Sasha. Azu sits up, ignoring Zolf and Hamid’s worried faces for the time being, and glances down at her own hands, comforted by the familiarity. She presses her hands against her face, feeling the wide bridge of her nose and her broken tusk.

“It worked!” she cheers, and then Hamid is at her side, pulling her into a hug.

“Welcome back!” he says, and then repeats it as he turns to Sasha.

“Hamid, we weren’t _gone,”_ she says, raising an eyebrow, but it’s not rude. Hamid flaps his hands unconcerned.

“You know what I _mean,_ ” he says, and then turns toward Cel. “I’m actually very interested in the theory behind this, is it possible that there was some sort of magic interplaying with the chemicals?”

“Oh, little buddy!” Cel exclaims, and grabs Hamid’s hand, tugging him along behind them. “Well, what I _think’s_ happened is -“

They lead Hamid out of the room, chattering all the while, and Sasha and Azu exchange a look. 

“I’m not taking anything Cel gives me ever again,” Sasha grumbles, and Azu nods frantically. At least, nothing that someone else doesn’t drink first. 

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments appreciated!
> 
> [sighs] this is unrelated to this fic but uhhhhhh i started another long fic so just, yeah. yeah.


End file.
